Stan and Kyle Sitting in a Tree
by Gamer2008
Summary: Stan and Kyle have been best friends forever. But Stan wants to change that... StanXKenny StanXKyle KennyXButters Lots of couples. Rated M for Sexual Content and Language.
1. Stan and Kyle

"Hey Stan." Kenny said placing his arm on the black haired boys shoulder. He took it off.

"What the hell do you want?" Stan asked.

"You mean other than your body?" Kenny smirked, "I want you to tell me why you won't stop staring at Kyle all the time."

Stan rolled is eyes, "I don't have time for this. I have to get to work." He said lying.

"I thought you didn't work on Thursdays?" Kenny asked.

"What how'd you know?" Stan asked.

"I didn't. But now I do." Kenny smild.

"You're a douchebag." Stan said squinting his eyes.

"And you're an idiot. Now answer me question." Kenny said.

"About what? The fact that I supposedly stare at Kyle? What the hell is that about?" Stan asked closing his locker. Bebe looked at Stan and Kenny.

"What are you two talking about staring at Kyle? You little homos..." She whispered quietly before running down the hall to Wendy before the two broke in a laughing fit upon meeting.

"Bebe is such a whore." Kenny said sticking his tongue out at her knowing she couldn't see.

"Look. I don't know what you're talking about. I never look at Kyle, except when we're talking. At lunch. Otherwise, we don't even see each other that often anymore. It kind of upsets me." Stan said scratching the back of his head.

"Ah. But don't you two have World History together?" Kenny asked, "And Physcial Education?"

"Yeah, but it's not like we can talk during World History, because we sit on opposite sides of the room. And in P.E. the teacher watches us like a hawk because he always catches us talking." Stan let out a sigh, "It's kind of annoying not being able to talk to your best friend."

"Uhm, hello?" Kenny asked raising any eyebrow, "Me an fatass talk to you everday."

"Yeah but Kyle and I, " Stan said, "Are just really close."

"Maybe a little too close." Kenny mumble under his breath.

"What choo say?!" Stan asked outraged. Kenny laughed.

"Nothing. I'm going to go now. Me and Butters have a study date and-"

"-and you're finally going to make your move. Yes, yes, you've been telling me for the past two weeks." Stan said.

"Awww, You're just jealous cause you don't have the balls to ask out Kyle. Or atleast ask for a friendly study date." Kenny said.

"It wouldn't be friendly, and you know it." Stan smiled before waving off his friend and walked away. He watched as Kenny played with Butter, hitting on him. Poor defenseless Butters...

*-*-*-*-*

"Hey, Kyle." Stan said as he walked over to his friends locker. Kyle quicky shut his locker in fear and tured a pale color, as he stiffened.

"Oh, hey S-Stan." Kyle stuttered.

"Uh, I would ask what's going on, but it's obviously not something you want to share, so I was wondering if you're free tonight? Maybe we can hang out like old times." Stan said mentally punching himself.

"Uh, Sure, I'll be over in 20 minutes. Just let me get ready." Kyle said walking swiftly away from his locker.

Stan shook his head as he smiled.

"I guess Kyle forgot I know his locker combination." He smiled. He opened the locker and looked around, "There's nothng to hide in here. A Playboy magazine at the bottom of his books but that's about it." He le out a sigh. He shut the locker and looked at the floor.

"Must've fallen out when I opened the locker." Stan said picking up a piece of paper.

_Kyle. I love you. Do you love me? Bebe._

_WHAT THE FUCK?! BEBE?!, WHAT SHIT AM I SMOKING?!_, Stan asked himself as he read over the paper multiple times in disbelief, _No, it's clearly written here. And in Bebe's handwriting for sure too._

Stan slammed the note in Kyle's locker, and slammed it, shoving his hands in his pockets, and walking out of the school.

*-*-*-*-*-*

"There's no way Kyle loves her right?" Stan asked to himself, "I mean sure, Bebe is a pretty girl but... I never though of her as Kyle's... _type._"

Stan looked up to see a boy in the front of his house. Defenitly not Kyle.

"Kenny?!" Stan asked as he ran to the front door. Kenny looked at him.

"Didn't you have a 'Study Date' with Butters?" Stan asked.

"Well. I did. And I went. And I, ahem, force myself upon him." Kenny said hanging his head as he said the last words.

"Ah Kenny, man." Stan whined, "Well Kyle was supposed to come over but I guess you can hang with us too."

"Good. I didn't want you and Kyle alone anyway." Kenny said.

"Shutup."

"But I love you!" Kenny smiled.

"If you were a girl, I wouldn't hesitate to call you a slut." Stan said as he opened the door to his house.

"No one's home." Kenny commented.

"Thank-you captian obvious." Stan said rolling his eyes, "Shelly finally got her lazy ass in a College, and the parents are working around the clock doing some shit I have no interest in."

"Sweet let's move the party to your room." Kenny said winking.

"You're a player." Stan said.

"Thank-you." Kenny said wrapping his arms around Stan's torso.

"Kenny stop." Stan said. Kenny nuzzled his face into Stan's back.

"You'd be my Uke if we were gay, yanno that right?" Kenny asked.

"Well you are gay." Stan said.

"I meant gay for each other." Kenny said.

"You are totally gay for me." Stan said.

"You wish." Kenny smirked.

Stan let out a stiffled laugh, "No, I'm pretty sure _you_ wish." Kenny flushed.

"Yeah, I want you." Kenny smiled.

"You have no shame." Stan shook his head, and walked upstairs, Kenny following behind. When they got in Stan's room Kenny collapsed onto the bed and looked at the wall in front of him.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" He asked looking at an old picture of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman in Eementary.

"Yeah." Stan smiled passionatly as he sat at his desk, "Well Kyle should be here any minute."

"Kyle is all you think about, yanno? Kyle this, Kyle that. Why don't you ever think about me?" Kenny asked.

"Look, you're in love with Butters. Keep it that way." Stan said.

"Yeah but I love you too." He smiled, "And about that, 'if we were gay for each other I would top' thing..." Kenny grabbed Stan and pulled him onto the bed.

"I was totally right. I could have my way with you right now, and you wouldn't be able to stop me." Kenny smirked.

"I'll slap that evil smile right off your face if you don't get off of me right now." Stan said.

"But I LOVE YOU." Kenny said leanign in to Stan's face. He was stopped by a sound at the door.

"Kyle?!" The two asked in shock.

_Oh great._


	2. In a tree!

Kyle stared at the two for a split second before a dark red blush played across his face.

"I didn't realize I was interrupting something..." He said before he made a mad dash downstairs.

"Kyle wait-!" Stan said pushing Kenny off of him.

"Stan." Kenny said holding him back. Stan turned to him, "I'll go do it."

"What?!" Stan asked as Kenny walked downstairs. It only lasted about 10 minutes, but finally, Kyle retreated upstairs. When Stan saw him sitting in the door frame, with a mischievous smile, Stan raised an eyebrow.

"What?!" Stan asked. Kyle shook his head as he laughed. He walked over to Stan.

"I'm sorry Stan. Kenny explained everything." Kyle said.

"Really? I guess he's not such a bad guy aft-"

"I didn't know you were his Uke!"

_. . . Kenny!!! YOU ASSHOLE._

"Yeah." Stan said squinting his eyes, "I didn't know either."

"Well anyway, he left. And if you don't mind, I don't really care for studying." Kyle said plopping on the bed next to Stan. Stan had a heart attack. Or what he thought was one. He inched away from Kyle, hoping he didn't realize how red he was getting.

"Are you mad at me or something?" Kyle asked.

"N-no, why ask?" Stan asked as he tried to play it cool. Kyle stood quiet before he smiled and laid his head on Stan's side.

"Tell me." He said.

"There's nothing to say!" Stan said.

"Oh." Kyle smiled laying a kiss on Stan's cheek.

"H-hey man!" Stan said looking at him as he sat up quickly.

"What?" Kyle asked raising an eyebrow, "I'm going to go get something to drink, want anything?" Stan tried to make out some words, but all that came out where simple gasps of air.

"Get me a root beer." Stan finally said sitting back down on his bed.

"Okay." Kyle smiled. Kyle skipped merrily down the stairs. Stan had just shut his eyes to collect his thoughts when he heard a loud crash from downstairs.

"Kyle!" He said to himself as he ran down as too what seemed the fastest he ever had. When he reached the kitchen he looked at Kyle, on the floor. in the middle of a huge puddle of white liquid. Milk. Stan ran over to help him up.

"Hey Stan! Be careful!" Kyle yelled as he rubbed his head. Stan, the ignorant child he was, refused to listen, and ended up slipping, right into Kyle's lap.

"God damnit, Stan! I told you to be careful! You could've gotten hurt." Kyle said wrapping his arms around Stan. Stan tried to catch his breath, to everything that happened so fast, and finally rapped his arms around Kyle too.

"I'm sorry. I'll listen next time." Stan said to Kyle. Kyle simply nodded and smiled. Stan stood up, and proceeded to help up Kyle. But as soon as Kyle made it halfway from the ground, he yelled, which cause Stan to let go in surprise, causing another crash to the floor. Kyle held his rubbed his butt.

"It hurts..." He whined.

_So cute..._, Stan thought to himself. He shook his head as the dirty images in his mind began to gather. Stan imagined him and Kyle in bed, Stan giving it to Kyle rough, just the way he liked it.

_"It hurts..."_

"STAN?!" Kyle yelled. Stan looked down at him.

"What?!" Stan asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you man! Just look!" Kyle said pointing to Stan. He looked down, and quickly realized the noticeable bulge in his pants. His eyes widened as he turned away from Kyle and said, "Okay, so anyway, what's wrong with your ass?" Nothing was said for a moment, before Kyle started to bust out laughing.

"What?" Stan asked looking at him, but keeping his body still faced away.

"I totally just thought of this! If I have to go to the doctor, there gonna think you gave it to me too rough!" Kyle laughed as tears started to form in his eyes. He held his stomach as Stan rolled his eyes and looked away.

"That's weird that you would even bring that up. I was sort of thinking the same thing." Stan started to walk out of the room, when once again he slipped into Kyle's lap. The front door opened, and before Stan could say, "No! _No! It's not what you think!!!_" Kenny had already spotted the two.

"Kyle." Kenny said, "Stan." The two boys looked at each other then back at Kenny.

"_YOU NASTY KIDS!!_" Kenny said pointing at the two with a face full of fear and dread, "IN THE KITCHEN?!?! REALLY?!"

"Yeah, Kenny! And you could've been here to watch, but you were probably tieing up Butter's, for tonight, weren't you?!" Kyle asked. Stan got up. Kenny stood quiet.

"How'd you know?!" He yelled before running out the front door without even a thought of closing it. The two stared at the door.

"I'm not sure what to say to that." Kyle said.

"Nice comeback though." Stan smiled helping Kenny up, but this time, picking him up bridal style.

"T-thanks?" He said smiling. Stan put him on the couch.

"You should probably change. I'll go get some clothes. We're about the same size right?" Stan asked walking away. He was stopped but a slight tug on his shirt.

"I want you to undress me though." Kyle said in a weird tone.

"Stop that." He said swatting away his hand. When he returned, he handed Kyle a blue T-shirt and black pants.

"I've got to go clean up the kitchen now, so just sit and watch some T.V. okay?" Stan asked as Kyle removed his shirt.

"You don't need help?" Kyle asked looking at him.

"No. You're obviously injured. Just rest, it's cool." Stan said grabbing a towel, and walking in the kitchen. He got on his hands and knees, and started soaking up all the milk. Kyle changed quickly and as he finally put on his pants, he looked back at the still open door.

"But, the AC's on..."

______

Omigod I suck. Anyway, I know you all hate me for making you guys wait so long, I just really didn't have any plans for this story, and still don't. I also realize, this chapter sucks. It really does. It makes no sense whatsoever, in any point. I really just want to hope right into the sex, but a little humor(which isn't even funny) and cute stuff needs to be first right? No? Don't matter, you ain't the author. JK(: Love you guys, peace(:


End file.
